Every one sets new years resolutions, like its an assignment from your teacher and if you don't you will get an F. Why do we feel the need to jump on the bandwagon of setting resolutions just to forget them in 4 weeks? Stop setting yourself up for failure and self doubt, lets try something new this year!
As mamas in this day and age we already have the world telling us how to parent, what we should be doing, how we should look, what our house should look like, what we can and can’t do and the list goes on. The pressure is crazy especially on social media. My goal has always been to make other mamas know and feel confident, if you have done your best then that is more than enough and your kids are the only ones that matter, not the rest of the world.
New Years resolutions just add more stress and pressure to the already mounting expectations the public puts on us, and we allow it. I believe to be the best mom I can be means concentrating on my own life and motherhood journey, not what others think of me or think I need to be doing to become a "good mom".
I don't know about you but any resolution I have made in the past was never followed thru. I believe its because of the stigma, our minds plan these resolutions get excited over for a couple weeks (months if your lucky) and then when we start moving away from them or the excitement subsides our minds say "well, its OK we are not the only ones who didn't keep up with their resolution" again another band wagon attitude of failure is OK.
We have to change the way we look at our resolutions. I don't like that word "resolution", to me it means something that needs to be fixed, but I don't need to fix anything, I want to grow and learn from the goals I’ve set. To become the best me I can be.
You can set new goals all year long, short term, long term and future goals. Goals can have a timeline to help us stay motivated or to keep us going if we know we have a deadline we would like to meet. Goals can also be on going and changing as we reach new heights in our journey.
I like to look at it like a to do list, as a mama lists are a big part of my life. If you jot down 20 things to get done in one day odds are you will not have all 20 done, and maybe even only get 2 crossed off your list. Your mind sees the page full and immediately feels overwhelmed, when the mind gets overwhelmed then it shuts down. No wonder as mamas we feel like we have nothing done at the end of the day! Instead, if you cut that list down to 2 or 4 things a day you will notice you were able to get each of those done or at least 80% done. why? cause your mind can handle it and then it feels great when those get crossed off the list!! Its more rewarding to see your list completed for that day!
I’ve put together some helpful tips I’ve used to set goals for the new year you can actually keep!
Be realistic with your goals!!
We don't want to set ourselves up for immediate failure so make sure your goals are realistic and achievable in the time you want to have it accomplished. Start with small short term goals and remember you can always change them or add to that goal as you go.
Don't forget to reflect!!
one of the things I do every new year is reflect on the past one. I think of all the times I’ve failed and how it changed my life and then all the blessings that we were given. Our society likes to make us dwell on the negative and say we need to work on that and fix it but we forget all the amazing things that happen to us along the way. Just because it wasn't a goal you set doesn't mean its not an important accomplishment!
Set goals to help others not just yourself.
I'm sure you have heard it before but its so true that when we take our eyes off ourselves and try to serve others not only do we make others feel good but our own self esteem shoots up. I am also a big believer in God blessing us when we bless others! We were put on this earth to be kind, loving and helpful servants to the people around us. This goal does not need to be something huge, for example as a mama and wifey one of my goals this year is to spend more time with each one of my kids individually and making more intentional time for my husband.
2018 for me was a year full of mistakes and miracles! I only hope that 2019 will be the same but that we will have bigger mistakes and miracles because we cant grow unless we have both! Here is my 2019 goals, notice I have gone into detail with specific short term goals within each original goal. this helps me have a deadline to strive for.
2019
spend quality time with each kid individually
-Abel, set aside 1 hr a day just for him
(go to the park, play games, take him to a movie or museum)
-Georgie, one day a week have mommy/son date (bowling, laser tag, movies, museum, park etc.)
-Jade, she will need me the most but I want to be intentional at least one hour of the day to just sing to her, talk to her, play with her and connect with her.
set aside intentional time for my hubby
-have date night 1 night a week even if we just stay home and watch a movie
-set out 1 on 1 time to talk about our goals for the future and to tell him how I feel about him and what he has done for me and our family.
organize my house
-list all the areas that need to be organized
-tackle organizing one area each week
grow my blog
-commit to posting 2 blogs a week after Jade is 4 months old
-collaborate with other bloggers for inspiration, education and exposure
-buy my own domain by July of 2019
-listen to podcasts on blogging and read self development books
launch my Soul Tribe Boutique website
-2 days a week work on boutique clothing/jewelry
-order inventory to launch by May 2019
-have website ready to go by April 2019
-start actively promoting and posting on social platforms March 2019
serve more at my church
-start by volunteering at one event a month
-goal is to volunteer every weekend by end of the year
If you want to dig deeper into your 2019 goals and are a visual person like I am then you have to check out Lindsay Matway's Vision Board Course. She is the queen of setting realistic goals to achieve and master the vision board to keep you motivated all year long!!
Her online course is totally Free and really helps with step by step videos to start your vision board of 2019 that you can actually stick to!
Happy New Year!! Xoxo
Soul Tribe Mama
Jessica Porter